Sep. 2nd, 2017

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PERSON WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT: I am here to address rumors that there is a gas shortage in Texas due to the state of some oil refineries in the area affected by Hurricane Harvey.

TEXAN: OMG the apocalypse is coming.

PERSON WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT: There is no gas shortage.

TEXAN: DID YOU SAY GAS SHORTAGE?

PERSON WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT: Even if there was a temporary local shortage, the US keeps over 200 million gallons of gas in reserve for cases like this. But that reserve is not needed because there is no gas shortage.

TEXAN: I only have 3/4 a tank of gas! What do I do?

PERSON WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT: What there is is a temporary logistics issue in delivery that should be resolved within a few days, after which, regular delivery routes and schedules should resume. We recommend only getting gas if you need it between now and the middle of next week. Only areas already affected by the hurricane should be affected by this.

TEXAN: I can’t hear you because I’m sitting in line at the gas station and the line is spilling into the street and maybe causing a tiny bit of a traffic jam because I only have 3/4 a tank of gas and I don’t want to run out before the shortage ends.

PERSON WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT: Ok, so, I know I said there was no gas shortage, but you kinda...created one yourselves by purchasing more gas in 2 hours than is usually purchased in an entire week.

TEXAN: I’m so glad I was able to get that 1/4 tank us gas before that big shortage reached us. Thanks for the heads up, PERSON WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT!

GAS STATION EMPLOYEE: *sob*

(Ok, the 2 hours part is an exaggeration, but not by too much.)

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