I ran into that "I don't identify with the guys" thing with redbrunja as well. We had a long and sometimes bitter discussion about Hakkai/Gojyo, and that was part of it. The funny thing is, I hardly know of any female SF&F fans who don't identify with guys in stories. And for that matter, consider the authors: female authors (sometimes using male or ambiguous pseudonyms) write male leads - sometimes from the first person - all the time. It's hard to imagine that they don't identify with their male characters.

I have always been a geek/tomboy type, and identified with the male protagonists of my favorite stories as easily as I did with the females.

(Do you think you might read my Hakkai/Yaone story? I'd be really interested in your reaction.)