meganbmoore | The Adventures of Sinbad (Reply)

The Adventures of Sinbad is a TV series in the Hercules and Xena vein that ran from 1996 to 1998, and it's based on (shockingly) the voyages of Sinbad, with about as much authenticity as the other two. But with dodgier special effects, questionable accents, hilariously bad dialogue, and some of the most awesomely blatant use of blue screen ever.

This series will make you regret ever requesting good acting of your TV shows. No, seriously, you will watch this and go "Why is everyone so big on good acting? It is so overrated! Who wants good acting when you can have THIS? Who needs good accents when Jacqueline Collen's Irish accent is coming and going as she sets off to seduce the magic sword from the bad guy with absolute glee? How can you complain about scenery chewing villains with Julianne Morris devouring everything in sight with a smirk? One can never complain about corny dialogue if one has watched Zen Gesner deliver awful cliches with a completely straight face! And how can you complain about bad FX after magic fire gives a guy furry gloves that turn people into stone!"

I have only seen six episodes, and three a good while back (And I could not find the caps I took of them! Alas!), but I am ridiculously in love with it, even while frequently wanting to thwap it upside the head. With a spiked club. Why? Let's have an essay in pictures!

Here is our hero, Sinbad:

Sinbad is pretty. In fact, I find him absurdly hot, given how generically goodlooking Zen Gesner is. It's probably the fact that he clearly loves spouting some of the corniest dialogue ever and having fight scenes straight out of the Universal Studios stunt shows.

This is our heroine, Maeve:

Maeve is an Irish sorceress with a very bad accent. But are we really going to hold the accent against her?

I'm not!

Had I watched this when I was a teenybopper and it was originally airing, I would have shipped Maeve/Sinbad forever and ever.

I mean, they have adventures, bicker, she saves him more than he saves her, and when they fight, he apologizes by getting her a chest of clothes:

Which is to say, I still ship them, but I laugh and point the whole time.

This is Maeve's brother, Dermott:

Dermott was turned into a bird by the sorceress, Rumina. Rumina turns men into animals when she gets rejected. It's unclear whether she was rejected by Maeve or Dermott. Near-orgasmic magic battles that make men hide would suggest the former.

Maeve and Dermott are close.

Very close.

This is Sinbad's brother, Doubar:

Doubar is rather sexist, but I somehow can't ever be annoyed with him about it for long. Probably because he always follows Maeve's lead after initial grumping.

This is the ship's inventor, Firouz.

He is a bit hyper. The girl with him is a young sorceress from episode six who we will sadly probably never see again. Sinbad got conned into winning her while gambling. Here's what Maeve had to say about that:

Sinbad isn't very smart. Actually, everyone is smarter than him.

Now, you may be noticing something rather peculiar about a TV series based one of Scheherazade's tales. Meet Rongar, our final protagonist:

Rongar has fewer lines than Dermott, who at least squawks. This is because Rongar has no tongue.This was explained to us by a character who basically lived long enough to tell us why we'd never hear a peep out of the black man who is so ripped that arrows literally bounce off his chest. (Literally. I kid you not.)

Sometimes, Rongar plays music and thinks longingly of starring in a series that does not fail so majestically in such an offhanded manner.

Now, you may have noticed that Our Heroine is Irish. Teleportation was involved to get her on Sinbad's ship. But fear not! This doesn't not mean that there are no major middle eastern female characters (though I should note that I am absolutely clueless about Julianne Morris's ethnicity)! Behold the chief antagonist and evil sorceress, Rumina!

Rumina and I have similar opinions regarding this show and race:

Rumina is also in love with Sinbad. This means he must sometimes sacrifice himself and use his masculine wiles on her...

...so that Maeve can come and rescue him.

There is a scene is episode six quite similiar to the bit in The Mummy where Evie kisses Imhotep to keep him from killing Rivk and Jonathan with a giant sand face. Only less squicky. (I mean, Arnold Vosloo isn't squicky, but Imhotep was a gooey decaying skeleton about 10 minutes before that, so, you know...)

In a rather refreshing change of pace, we have a male hero who (1) has a chief antagonist who (A) is female, and (B) doesn't have a convenient male flunky who does most of the fighting and dirty work, and does most of her own fighting, and (2) has no powers or amazing abilities, and so frequently has to be rescued by his girlfriend's magic. And sometimes her sword.

I, uhm, may actually ship all possible combinations of Maeve/Sinbad/Rumina. Except for a threesome, which would result in a deep-fried Sinbad.

Also, the series may have made me slash Sinbad and a random guest star: