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The Dead Travel Fast by Deanna Raybourn
Apr. 12th, 2010 08:26 pmFaced with the threat of Noes! Marriage! Theodora Lestrange flees Edinburgh to visit her friend Cosmina in Rumania, and get inspiration for the gothic novel she hopes to write. Cosmina expects to marry her cousin, Andrei Dragulescu, who has recently returned home after slutting his way through Europe. The locals, unsurprisingly, think the Dragulescu men are vampires. There’s also a character named Frankopan, if you were curious.
It plays out like a straight gothic, but self-aware, maybe a bit too much so. The prose is also torrid but stops just short of inducing genuine eyerolling, and a lot of the book plays out like this:
COSMINA: I am beautiful and fragile and hint of mystery!
ANDREI’S MOTHER: I am of ancient nobility and deeply concerned about these modern ways that say silly things like “vampires aren’t real, so you shouldn’t stake your dead husband.”
LOCALS: The nobles are crazy vampires!
THEODORA: OMG my gothic novel will be awesome!
LOCALS: Noes! Another one!
ANDREI: DAMMIT I HATE THIS! I don’t wanna be stuck in a gothic novel! Vampires aren’t real! I wanna go see if there’s a part of Europe I haven’t slutted my way through yet!
LOCALS: He will kill us in our sleep!
THEODORA: Best! Gothic! Novel! Ever! Also, you are hot, but possibly a killer, so I’m gonna try resisting that for a bit.
LOCALS: How dare you reject our beloved master!
PEOPLE: *die*
VILLAINS: *cackle*
ANDREI: I pine! I throb! I long! I angst!
THEODORA: Oh, who cares if you’re a vampire or not!
LOCALS: Isn’t it great?
Sadly, it never completely takes off. I think because none of the characters really manage to go beyond the tropes they’re poking at, and also because Raybourn’s last book was also a take on gothics, and a better one.
It plays out like a straight gothic, but self-aware, maybe a bit too much so. The prose is also torrid but stops just short of inducing genuine eyerolling, and a lot of the book plays out like this:
COSMINA: I am beautiful and fragile and hint of mystery!
ANDREI’S MOTHER: I am of ancient nobility and deeply concerned about these modern ways that say silly things like “vampires aren’t real, so you shouldn’t stake your dead husband.”
LOCALS: The nobles are crazy vampires!
THEODORA: OMG my gothic novel will be awesome!
LOCALS: Noes! Another one!
ANDREI: DAMMIT I HATE THIS! I don’t wanna be stuck in a gothic novel! Vampires aren’t real! I wanna go see if there’s a part of Europe I haven’t slutted my way through yet!
LOCALS: He will kill us in our sleep!
THEODORA: Best! Gothic! Novel! Ever! Also, you are hot, but possibly a killer, so I’m gonna try resisting that for a bit.
LOCALS: How dare you reject our beloved master!
PEOPLE: *die*
VILLAINS: *cackle*
ANDREI: I pine! I throb! I long! I angst!
THEODORA: Oh, who cares if you’re a vampire or not!
LOCALS: Isn’t it great?
Sadly, it never completely takes off. I think because none of the characters really manage to go beyond the tropes they’re poking at, and also because Raybourn’s last book was also a take on gothics, and a better one.