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meganbmooreAs I may have mentioned before, I have a bizarre fascination with Bertrice Small's romance novels. They tend to be well researched, but poorly written populated by Mary Sues (who get to bang every romantic hero stereotype of their time period, no man can resist, and every woman is insanely jealous of) and have entirely unlikable casts. Really, I read the things and want to murder everything. It's just that I see the books and have to see what insanity she comes up with. When it comes to certain situations, her imagination is Special. Very Special. How special?
So, in this one book, Hero disappears. Heroine goes off to find him, and learns he's being held by Sorceress, has amnesia, and is her boytoy. Heroine disguises herself as a boy, but Sorceress's Brother sees through the disguise, and makes her his mistress. Endless kinky and weird sex between Heroine and Sorceress's Brother follows. sorceress and Sorceress's brother are both sterile, though, so they decide that the way to continue the line is a threesome between Hero, Heroine, and Sorceress's Brother. Sorceress can't play because any woman not the heroine having sex in Small's books has to be bad. (If I post on the new books, I will likely have Words about then, and her treatment of homosexuality.) Anyway, if they all think about Sorceress during the the 24-hour threesome, it will count as her baby. No, seriously. They believe this. Anyway, mid-sex, Hero gets his memories back and angsts while Heroine and Sorceress's Brother are having sex about a foot away.
There are things you can't forget even if you want to.
ANYWAY! The new book I found and spent last week trudging through is Private Pleasures, her first contemporary. It features a 40-something housewife who is able to find self-worth by going to sexual fantasy-land, looking 30 again, and having hot 20-somethings at her command. Any chareacter growth or self-worth not connected to young studs (for her or other female characters) doesn't exist.
As you can see, I have Opinions. Unkind Opinions. Mind you, I'm not sure how deeply I can get into them because...uhm...there isn't much depth to the book. But they are Strong.
[Poll #1286777]
So, in this one book, Hero disappears. Heroine goes off to find him, and learns he's being held by Sorceress, has amnesia, and is her boytoy. Heroine disguises herself as a boy, but Sorceress's Brother sees through the disguise, and makes her his mistress. Endless kinky and weird sex between Heroine and Sorceress's Brother follows. sorceress and Sorceress's brother are both sterile, though, so they decide that the way to continue the line is a threesome between Hero, Heroine, and Sorceress's Brother. Sorceress can't play because any woman not the heroine having sex in Small's books has to be bad. (If I post on the new books, I will likely have Words about then, and her treatment of homosexuality.) Anyway, if they all think about Sorceress during the the 24-hour threesome, it will count as her baby. No, seriously. They believe this. Anyway, mid-sex, Hero gets his memories back and angsts while Heroine and Sorceress's Brother are having sex about a foot away.
There are things you can't forget even if you want to.
ANYWAY! The new book I found and spent last week trudging through is Private Pleasures, her first contemporary. It features a 40-something housewife who is able to find self-worth by going to sexual fantasy-land, looking 30 again, and having hot 20-somethings at her command. Any chareacter growth or self-worth not connected to young studs (for her or other female characters) doesn't exist.
As you can see, I have Opinions. Unkind Opinions. Mind you, I'm not sure how deeply I can get into them because...uhm...there isn't much depth to the book. But they are Strong.
[Poll #1286777]