Harlequin Manga
Jan. 15th, 2011 12:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
meganbmooreSo, I spent a good chunk of the evening reading excerpts available on Kindle for free of manga adaptations of Harlequin romances (if “Harlequin” doesn’t ring bells, “Mills & Boon” might). The excerpts are about 40 pages each. None were actually good, and some were just dull/annoyingly bad, but a few were fabulously entertaining in certain ways (read: "WTF?", 0_o, and "BWAHAHA!"), and I shall share them with you!
But to clarify: I do not and never have bought into the idea that all romance novels are bad. Like any form of media (or, well, anything) the output ranges all over the place between good and bad, with occasional flashes of brilliance. Harlequin and Silhouette romances, though, have several dozen books with a set number of pages that consistently follow one of several formulas come out each month. I’d have to look at statistics, but this output each month probably tops several other genres combined. While the format can result in good books, it’s more likely to result in comfortable mediocrity (if you read a few and like them, you’ll probably like the rest), and otherwise good authors can put out awful things with this format. So basically, I don’t believe all Harlequins are bad either, but while I read a lot as a teen, they’ve never been my thing. (But they were certainly easy to read when I had homework.) Also, it is entirely possible that perfectly decent books are no longer perfectly decent once translated into a different form of media.
Sale or Return Bride by Sarah Morgan and Kazuko Fujita: Our Heroine is Tragic. She is Very Tragic. She cannot have children and her mother has huge hospital bills, forcing Our Heroine to work three jobs. Or was it 4? Regardless, her grandfather is super rich and super evil and he tells her that her mother will be taken care of if Our Heroine marries The Enemy. The Enemy is hot and Greek and a womanizer. Our Heroine is teeny and blonde and delicate. She is also a virgin because she knew she could never have a happy marriage because she couldn’t have children and Evil Grandpa shall get revenge on The Enemy by depriving him of an heir. The Enemy fondles her in public and drags her off to bed after telling her she isn’t a whore only because whores cost less. The excerpt ended just as the virginity reveal came about. Alas!
Millionaire Husband by Leanne Banks and Kanako Uesugi: This begins with Our Hero sitting in a bathtub full of money, holding a glass of champagne. Really, that’s the main reason I included this one. That, and the fact that Our Hero spends pages in agony over his buddy getting married. I am firmly convinced that he’s actually gay. Even if he thinks Our Heroine is capable of spontaneously creating sunlight and flowers with her mere existence. He is also the sort to give himself an ulcer (literally) by worrying about money. Oh, and this is apparently the kind of world where a man kissing a woman and giving her flowers makes her a strumpet and unfit for caring for small children. No, really. Also, cake is Evil.
Princess of Convenience by Marion Lennox and Takako Hashimoto: This time, we open with a fatal car crash and a small child dying of leukemia(This is a flashback, he‘s already dead)! Our Heroine is the sole survivor of the car crash! Our Hero, The Prince’s fiancee was the other driver! Since the dead lady was drunk, he offers Our Heroine his castle to recover in. BUT! The King recently died, leaving a wee prince behind to become king, and Our Hero, The Prince cannot be regent (and so protect Wee Prince from dastardly and less attractive relatives) if he is unwed! Cue many scenes of Our Heroine agonizing over Wee Prince igniting motherly instincts and reminding her of her dead kid. And gratuitous Cute Kid shots, including Our Hero, The Ptince deciding that both he and Wee Prince should sleep in her bed to further bonding. It’s like some bizarre Harlequin/kdrama hybrid.
Something Old, Something New by Donna Sterling and Okada Junko: Our Heroine is a hotel manager! Ten years ago, she was married to Our Hero! She was poor and her grandmother was a maid in his mansion! Now the mansion is a hotel, and he wants it back! But must be married to buy it! And the current owner thinks they’re a happily married couple! And the reason they got a divorce was that he was cut off for marrying a servant’s granddaughter, and she left him so he could be rich again (though this was apparently an unnecessary bit of self-sacrifice, since he made his own fortune without daddy’s money) and live a life of luxury while she toiled away! Oh, and there was a miscarriage, so there was no reason for them to stay married. The excerpt ends with Our Heroine falling off a cliff while rescuing a small child.
Keeping Luke‘s Secret by Carole Mortimer and Hinoto Mori: Our Hero has lived a life of scandal because his mother is a famous actress who never revealed his father’s identity to the public. Our Heroine is Mummy Dearest’s biographer, at Mummy Dearest’s request. To Our hero, this means “Evil Paparazzi Scum.” Apparently, talking to his mother at his mother’s request is justification for Our Hero to pin Our Heroine to the wall and threaten her. Then he suddenly gets a personality transplant and is all nice and weird. In reality, he’d either be a serial killer or have psychological problems that required a doctor and/or medication. In fiction, well, he could still be a serial killer, but in this case, I think it was caused by a rush of hormones. But I keep thinking he’ll end up the villain and a Real Hero will show up to rescue the Delicate Damsel.
Expecting the Boss‘s Baby by Leanne Banks and Kanako Uesugi: The first book in the series by the same people! They weren’t exactly labeled? Anyway, this cemented the impression I had with the other that this is one of those romance novel series that’s about the Manly Bonds of Men where the men display their manly bonds by commenting on each others’ love lives. Our Hero In Book 2 is even more high strung. Our Hero Of This Book thinks giving to charities makes for a great method of tax evasion. Also, the 2 heroes all grew up together in an orphanage, and are now millionaires. I’d say this says something about the orphanage, but they are apparently the shining stars in a sea of mediocrity. Anyway, Our Hero got drunk a couple months ago, got his secretary drunk, had sex with her, and then begged her not to quit because she‘s such an awesome secretary. Naturally, she is pregnant. So she waits two months before quitting. Because she is too noble to make him marry her if he doesn’t love her. (Yes, the logic is as sound as it appears. Also, even if he wants nothing to do with the kid…uhm, (A) he should know, and (B) he should, at the very least, provide financial assistance. But noble sacrifice is more important! Not that it occurs to him that the modern age has options beyond loveless marriage when someone gets pregnant unexpectedly…oh sweet mercy, I remember why I quit reading contemporary romances. Moving on!) Ok, no, actually nothing else to move on to…
I am actually tempted to read the rest of a couple of these for the entertainment, but wish they were a teeny bit cheaper.Maybe I'll see if the UBS has any next time I go.
Also, this is my first manga in a few months? I should fix that.
But to clarify: I do not and never have bought into the idea that all romance novels are bad. Like any form of media (or, well, anything) the output ranges all over the place between good and bad, with occasional flashes of brilliance. Harlequin and Silhouette romances, though, have several dozen books with a set number of pages that consistently follow one of several formulas come out each month. I’d have to look at statistics, but this output each month probably tops several other genres combined. While the format can result in good books, it’s more likely to result in comfortable mediocrity (if you read a few and like them, you’ll probably like the rest), and otherwise good authors can put out awful things with this format. So basically, I don’t believe all Harlequins are bad either, but while I read a lot as a teen, they’ve never been my thing. (But they were certainly easy to read when I had homework.) Also, it is entirely possible that perfectly decent books are no longer perfectly decent once translated into a different form of media.
Sale or Return Bride by Sarah Morgan and Kazuko Fujita: Our Heroine is Tragic. She is Very Tragic. She cannot have children and her mother has huge hospital bills, forcing Our Heroine to work three jobs. Or was it 4? Regardless, her grandfather is super rich and super evil and he tells her that her mother will be taken care of if Our Heroine marries The Enemy. The Enemy is hot and Greek and a womanizer. Our Heroine is teeny and blonde and delicate. She is also a virgin because she knew she could never have a happy marriage because she couldn’t have children and Evil Grandpa shall get revenge on The Enemy by depriving him of an heir. The Enemy fondles her in public and drags her off to bed after telling her she isn’t a whore only because whores cost less. The excerpt ended just as the virginity reveal came about. Alas!
Millionaire Husband by Leanne Banks and Kanako Uesugi: This begins with Our Hero sitting in a bathtub full of money, holding a glass of champagne. Really, that’s the main reason I included this one. That, and the fact that Our Hero spends pages in agony over his buddy getting married. I am firmly convinced that he’s actually gay. Even if he thinks Our Heroine is capable of spontaneously creating sunlight and flowers with her mere existence. He is also the sort to give himself an ulcer (literally) by worrying about money. Oh, and this is apparently the kind of world where a man kissing a woman and giving her flowers makes her a strumpet and unfit for caring for small children. No, really. Also, cake is Evil.
Princess of Convenience by Marion Lennox and Takako Hashimoto: This time, we open with a fatal car crash and a small child dying of leukemia(This is a flashback, he‘s already dead)! Our Heroine is the sole survivor of the car crash! Our Hero, The Prince’s fiancee was the other driver! Since the dead lady was drunk, he offers Our Heroine his castle to recover in. BUT! The King recently died, leaving a wee prince behind to become king, and Our Hero, The Prince cannot be regent (and so protect Wee Prince from dastardly and less attractive relatives) if he is unwed! Cue many scenes of Our Heroine agonizing over Wee Prince igniting motherly instincts and reminding her of her dead kid. And gratuitous Cute Kid shots, including Our Hero, The Ptince deciding that both he and Wee Prince should sleep in her bed to further bonding. It’s like some bizarre Harlequin/kdrama hybrid.
Something Old, Something New by Donna Sterling and Okada Junko: Our Heroine is a hotel manager! Ten years ago, she was married to Our Hero! She was poor and her grandmother was a maid in his mansion! Now the mansion is a hotel, and he wants it back! But must be married to buy it! And the current owner thinks they’re a happily married couple! And the reason they got a divorce was that he was cut off for marrying a servant’s granddaughter, and she left him so he could be rich again (though this was apparently an unnecessary bit of self-sacrifice, since he made his own fortune without daddy’s money) and live a life of luxury while she toiled away! Oh, and there was a miscarriage, so there was no reason for them to stay married. The excerpt ends with Our Heroine falling off a cliff while rescuing a small child.
Keeping Luke‘s Secret by Carole Mortimer and Hinoto Mori: Our Hero has lived a life of scandal because his mother is a famous actress who never revealed his father’s identity to the public. Our Heroine is Mummy Dearest’s biographer, at Mummy Dearest’s request. To Our hero, this means “Evil Paparazzi Scum.” Apparently, talking to his mother at his mother’s request is justification for Our Hero to pin Our Heroine to the wall and threaten her. Then he suddenly gets a personality transplant and is all nice and weird. In reality, he’d either be a serial killer or have psychological problems that required a doctor and/or medication. In fiction, well, he could still be a serial killer, but in this case, I think it was caused by a rush of hormones. But I keep thinking he’ll end up the villain and a Real Hero will show up to rescue the Delicate Damsel.
Expecting the Boss‘s Baby by Leanne Banks and Kanako Uesugi: The first book in the series by the same people! They weren’t exactly labeled? Anyway, this cemented the impression I had with the other that this is one of those romance novel series that’s about the Manly Bonds of Men where the men display their manly bonds by commenting on each others’ love lives. Our Hero In Book 2 is even more high strung. Our Hero Of This Book thinks giving to charities makes for a great method of tax evasion. Also, the 2 heroes all grew up together in an orphanage, and are now millionaires. I’d say this says something about the orphanage, but they are apparently the shining stars in a sea of mediocrity. Anyway, Our Hero got drunk a couple months ago, got his secretary drunk, had sex with her, and then begged her not to quit because she‘s such an awesome secretary. Naturally, she is pregnant. So she waits two months before quitting. Because she is too noble to make him marry her if he doesn’t love her. (Yes, the logic is as sound as it appears. Also, even if he wants nothing to do with the kid…uhm, (A) he should know, and (B) he should, at the very least, provide financial assistance. But noble sacrifice is more important! Not that it occurs to him that the modern age has options beyond loveless marriage when someone gets pregnant unexpectedly…oh sweet mercy, I remember why I quit reading contemporary romances. Moving on!) Ok, no, actually nothing else to move on to…
I am actually tempted to read the rest of a couple of these for the entertainment, but wish they were a teeny bit cheaper.
Also, this is my first manga in a few months? I should fix that.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-15 07:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-15 03:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-15 07:12 pm (UTC)THIS IS THE ANTITHESIS OF ALL SHOUJO I HAVE EVER READ.
Emanga has a bunch of these for preview/e-reading as well. I have never dared to poke at them, though I admit Lord Calthorpe's Promise, A Wife in Time, A Royal Proposition tempt me. (And Sale or Return Bride, until NOW, so thank you.)
Witness sexy librarian Amber By Night! And Angus's Lost Lady, because no romance should have a hero named Angus, let alone this premise: Rebecca, a girl with no memory and a missing shoe, arrives at Angus's private detective agency. See the sheikhs, sheikhs everywhere!
no subject
Date: 2011-01-15 10:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-16 01:50 am (UTC)