Behold! Our totally historically accurate movie that will be ahistorical before the prologue ends!

So, apparently, I own King Arthur. I discovered this while searching through some of my older DVDs. Given that I like swords, costume dramas, Keira Knightley, Clive Owen and Ioan Gruffudd, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. As I am apparently on a quest to watch as many Arthuriana movies as I can get my hands on, I naturally watched it. (I wanted my next one to be one I didn’t have to think about much.)

I now consider Tristan & Isolde to be a masterful work of brilliant cinema. In comparison.

I knew I was in for excellent…something…when the premovie script sad “Our movie is totally historically accurate and what really happened! Recent archeological evidence says so!” And then immediately had the Romans pulling out of Britain around 60 years after they really did, a Roman family safely ensconced on the side of Hadrian’s Wall that they really didn’t like, and Sarmatian knights named Lancelot, Gawain, Galahad, and Tristan. I’m pretty sure Arthur’s décor was a bit more modern than the 5th century, too. (And I suspect I could go on for a while if I were better at weapons.)

I may have giggled at inappropriate moments.

Really, I favor the Celtic/post-Roman Britain stuff myself, but this really doesn’t work, though it’s entertaining. And how many movies let you go “KEIRA KNIGHTLEY IN BLUE PAINT IS ACHIEVED!” in IMs?

Meanwhile, I wonder if a single one of these movies will have Elaine.

(no subject)

1. You know what is fun? Doing your taxes, coming out with $300 more than last year for your refund, and then adding in the W2 for the 1-day-a-week-only job that’s mostly spare money/it’s-the-church-nursery-you’d-do-it-for-free and…ending up with the same amount as last year. Alas? A refund is a refund.

2. Riley Finn was just on an episode of Castle I watched earlier. Shaking Mal Reynolds’s hand. And he had amnesia and his ex-wife was Annie’s sister in Covert Affairs. It was slightly surreal in that way you never forget what role you most associate an actor with.

3. I hit up the UBSes today to look for some of the Arthuriana books that were recced. Ok, mostly the Rosemary Sutliff and Phyllis Ann Karr ones, which I did not find. But I did find Diana L. Paxson’s The White Raven and The Hallowed Isle. More importantly, I discovered that there is a series of romance novels about Arthur’s knights. The ones I got a creatively named Knights of the Round Table: Gawain and Knights of the Round Table: Geraint. Which, you know, makes sense. Easy to tell if your favorite knight is the star that way. (Urm…Gawain should be fine, but I recently read the version of the Geraint and Enid story that’s in Sioned Davies’s translation of The Mabinogion, and I have Opinions. That are not flattering to Mr. “I heard my wife wondering if she’s a good wife so naturally I assume she’s an evil adulteress and will punish her for it” Geraint.) The author is Gwen Rowley, should you be curious.

4. I did, though, find a couple of Elizabeth Chadwick’s out of print books, and grabbed some Isolde Martin medievals. I…seem to recall hearing that she was good when they first came out, but never read them. On a whim, I also got Guy Gavriel Kay’s A Song for Arbonne because…uhm…the description was all “courtly love!” which suits my current mood, though who knows if I’l get to it before the mood leaves me.

5. There’s an internet law about stopping before you reach 5, isn’t there?