I apparently own 2 Cassie Edwards books

[meganbmoore]

[Poll #1125368][Poll #1125368]

If anyone wants them, I'm open to bribes. Unless one of them is the one that smillaraaqwants to rip into. She has dibs if one is that book. Please to be noting that that my reading them detracts from time that could be spend on good books, manga, comics, anime, dramas, and FUN bad books. I'd say "do you really want me to suffer through them just so you can vicariously enjoy the badness?" but I know you would all revel in my torment. I require convincing to read, though. At least a bit. Or bribes. I'm always open to bribes.

ETA: I would have used check boxes or a text box, but I suspect they would be abused.

ETA 2: Why do I suspect The Dark Schreider Icon of Denial will get a lot of use in the near future?

ETA 3:  Due to the demands of lesbiassparrow and calixa, I will now provide the teaser excerpt on the first page of Savage Dream.

 Maria looked up at Shadow again, questioning him with her eyes.  Why, oh, why couldn't she fight him?  She should  show some sort of protest, yet she  could not.  A side of her that she had never known before would not allow her to deny him...

 Her pulse raced as his face drew closer, her eyes became wild, her knees weak.  She did not truly want to feel this need that ate away at her heart.  never in her life had she been rendered so helpless.

 A sensual tremor coursed through Maria at the first contact of his mouth on her lips.  A throaty moan frightened her when it rose from deep inside her.  The pleasure of his kiss was so profound and the touch of his hands, now bcupping her breasts through the soft buckskin blouse, was so beautifully sweet.  Never in his wildest dreams had she thought any man could steal away her ability to think.

But it was happening.

I should note that any typos are mine, as I'm typing this up from the books mysself.

Comments

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

So much wrongness that I cannot even come up with decent mockery. How does this woman have fans? Howwww?

[laura-holt-pi.livejournal.com]

Oh dear! The pulsating, inappropriate adjectives. Oh the corruscating wrongness! These are works born of untamed idiocy and indomitable fluff-headedness!

I wonder if the Chippewa and Navajo have grounds to sue.

[laura-holt-pi.livejournal.com]

Blimey!

I change my vote. Read no more! Burn them now, before your eyes explode in self-defence!

[shediao.livejournal.com]

My first reaction on seeing this entry" "Great ideas for crack AU fanfics."

[smillaraaq.livejournal.com]

I checked off "Burn them" because there was no fill-in-the-blank option, but it's not really the method I'd choose as smoke rises to heaven and this crap is *not* the sort of message that needs sending. Personally, I'd vote for shredding them to mix into compost, or putting them into a paper recycling program, to give a little something back to the poor trees whose lives were wasted to produce them.

And thanks for checking, alas, neither of those is the one I'm hunting for; I'm out to get Savage Honor (oh, the irony of the title, it burns ussss), her late-1700s Seneca book. The Smart Bitches have already found that one's riddled with thefts from historian and folklorist Arthur C. Parker; I'm cynical enough to wonder if she stopped there, and am ready and willing to turn my stomach poring over the damn thing so I can run it against some of the more obscure small-press/academic/vintage Iroquoisana on my shelves.

[wistfulmemory.livejournal.com]

While I'm usually against the abuse of books, I had to choose burn them as the teaser excerpt you provided was too horrifying to let survive any longer than you have to.

Never in his wildest dreams had she thought any man could steal away her ability to think.
I find the typo in this sentence amusing...

Recycle them

[estara.livejournal.com]

I hope the US also has this: don't read them, put them into the used paper bin and recycle them, that way they actually become useful. Those trees didn't ask to become Edwards books.

/end of snark

[kingcrankycat.livejournal.com]

I read the first books description and (literally) fell out of my chair laughing. I didn't read further for the sake of my sanity.

[surgingshark.livejournal.com]

*facepalm*

[fmanalyst.livejournal.com]

Is there any plagiarism in these two?

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

My brain. It hurts.

Also, Lorinda????

[chomiji]

That is some putrid prose ... .

I like smillaraaq's idea about composting them. Short of that, if you pull them apart at the spine into sections no thicker than a magazine, you ought to be able to recycle them (hmmm ... it looks like they'd come closest to mixed office paper at this recycling center in your town).

[isweedan]

No Megan, no! Don't hurt yourself :(
They're too horrifying to read so I suggest using them to make paper maché or confetti- burning is too honorable an end.

[pirateginny.livejournal.com]

Here via calixa. Honestly? I think you should mat and frame the worst pages. They're exquisitely awful.

[fivil.livejournal.com]

Browse through them for oddly scientific-sounding bits that are more or less likely to be extremely plagiarised off a nature magazine or something.

And then burn etc.

[fenrir-khan.livejournal.com]

But once torn from his hot, demanding embrace, she hungered again for his blazing caress, and lived to retrieve his smoldering passion.

Someone get a fire extinguisher... and clobber the 'author' with it, pretty please.