when bad names attack

[meganbmoore]

Reading book 6(the last) of Jane Lindskold's Firekeeper books, I have realized that the series is not ending because the story is over, but BECAUSE SHE CAN NO LONGER NAME NEW CHARACTERS!

In one page, I have met these three:

Wantoniola (no surname)
Loris Ambler
Amelo Soapwort

Again, all introduced in one page.

(Seriously, guys, good book, but...Wantoniola???  And actually, new charcter names were starting to feel a bit random even before that.) 

ETA:  Am curious and exhausted  trying to keep up with all the Backup and such programs posts after the Open Source Boobs Project that I don't even have time to reply to(go to telophase's LJ...the top two posts(after manga analysis) on it have links and such.)  Anyway, anyone want to drop candidates for truly bizarre character names?

Comments

[amandioka.livejournal.com]

LOL! That has got to be the worst name I've ever seen in a book. xD

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

It's also(so far...a good 400 pages left) THE ONLY MENTION of the character. I swear, she just needed a nme and pointed to something in the dictionary.

[amandioka.livejournal.com]

Doesn't the word wanton mean something like pervert? I don't have my dictionary, so correct me if I'm wrong.

400 pages left? O_O How long is the book?

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

book is just over 700 pages.

Wanton is more along the lines of promiscuous...not very choosy with your favors.

[chomiji]

One of Garth Nix' more forgettable books had nasty nasty flying monsters named ... Meepers.

Honestly, who can take a monster seriously with a name like that?

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure(from the teeny bit said) that Wantoniola is a respectavle court lady. Poor thing.

[kingcrankycat.livejournal.com]

I thought she was reaching a bit with names in book 1 (and even more in book 2 -- Wort...), but she really does seem to have topped herself with those names there.

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

Oh, just wait. Somewhere along the way, she just starts having names where i swear she just randomly ulled etters out of a bag, and went with whatever she pulled out.

[fairest1.livejournal.com]

No, no. I think it's because she reached a point that it sank in that, if she kept this up, she'd need to follow through on a kazillion different subplots that she started and then mostly abandoned.

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

Tell me about it. I THINK there's a plot in here somewhere, but there's allthis running around and checking in on characters we haven't seen in ages, and somewhere in there, I think she's introduced a new nation AND a new group of animals...

It's like she had ideas for 5-6 different series, and crammed them all into one.

[desdenova.livejournal.com]

Those names look like some of the ones that show up in my spam box!

(I must shamefully confess that I use the spam box to generate quick NPC names for my role-playing game. Maybe this author has hit on the same shortcut?)

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

Hmm...this is entirely possible.

[nutmeg3.livejournal.com]

Wontoniola is so awesome that I'm tempted to use it for my new puppy. And Loris Ambler is so very much a play on the slow loris (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slow_loris) that it makes me giggle.

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

rofl

I wish I'd known about that animal when I ran across the name.

[bellzooks.livejournal.com]

That is both hilarious, and a little horrifying.
If only literary characters could be used when playing Scrabble though - imagine how useful she would be! Alas, it is not to be.

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

Oh, just go with horrifying.

[bellzooks.livejournal.com]

It really does lean more that way. It will consume my nightmares, and I will cry myself to sleep because of it for the rest of my life.

:P

Death Note wins!

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

Quillsh Wammy. Backyard Bottomslash. Bluesharp Babysplit.

Re: Death Note wins!

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

The last one just seems amateurish as compared to the others. And Wantoniola.

(Are those from the novel I haven't read yet but shall?)

Re: Death Note wins!

[smillaraaq.livejournal.com]

The first volume of From Eroica With Love features a trio of magical/psychic Western teenagers with the oh-so-commonplace names of Caesar Gabriel, Sugar Plum, and Leopard Solid.

(Fortunately, halfway through book one the mangaka decided to totally change direction and turn it into a shounen-ai Cold War spy-caper comedy, and the implausibly-named trio are rapidly written out of the way.)