Of Swords and Parasols

 For the curious, I have finished the amazingly bad psychic dream vampire romance.  The post ended up very long.

The "hero's" attributes included drugging the heroine so he could try to have dream sex with her, and not caring that the drugs are making her sick because she tries to fight them(she doesn't know she's being drugged) and then becoming a human for the express purpose of having real sex with her and then dumping her(keeping in mind that  he assumed she'd have sex with him the second she saw him and was upset when she didn't) and also being ok when told that the price of being human for 2 weeks was that he had to kill her when his time was up.

We were supposed to be mad at her for abandoning his sorry butt after learning about everything but the drugging(which she never learns about.)

OTOH, there's a pretty cool godkiller introduced.

Naturally, all the other characters hate his guts.  But that's ok, the other 2 characters in the Dark Hunters series hated by all the other characters are two of my three favorite characters in the series.

Just tried reading Sherrilyn Kenyon's The Dream-Hunter, apparently the first book in a spinoff series from the Dark Hunters books.  My eyes were glazed over within the first 30 pages.

First off, the heroine has been estranged from her father for almost 10 years, hating him because he got her mother, brother and uncle killed, not to mention wrecked her entire childhood, searching for Atlantis.  Considering that, for once, she seemed to be pretty justified in these opinions, i was all for it.  But then she spent five minutes looking at Dad's notes and it was "OMG! Dad was right! I've been so wrong all these years and everything else is irrelevant and I must now devote my entire life to finding Atlantis as penance for being an unfilial daughter and I must make everyone who ever dismissed his claims to have found Atlantis realize how Wrong they were.  Who cares that he got my entire family killed and ruined my childhood?  I MUST PAY PENANCE AND RUIN MY OWN LIFE AS COMPENSATION SO I CAN PROVE HE WAS RIGHT LIKE ANY GOOD DAUGHTER!"

Oh, and then we jump 10 years later and a Dream Hunter is seducing her in her dreams.  Not only is she doing the "I am a cold and reasonable woman of logic but oh he sets my body ablaze" thing modern romance heroines are so big on, but the Dream Hunters have always been portrayed as cold and...well...asexual, in the other books, so the whole thing just DOES NOT FIT.

I shall just stick to the Dark Hunters Proper books(and the Were Hunters, which are part of the regular series so far.)

Good thing I brought manga.

 ETA:  DANGIT!  Flipped through it to see if it was important to the mytharc.  Not only is it, apparently, but it also seems that Ash and Nick play an important part.  I must now at least skim it for those parts.  There will possibly be additional ETAs as I endure it(with xXxHoLic breaks to keep me sane.) 

 

Now having finished the book, the short version is that the romance is crummy and the hero needs to have his spine ripped out and shoved through his torso a few dozen times.  Obviously NOT the reaction I'm supposed to have to him, but oh well.  I do, however, very much like Zebulon, the godkiller everyone else hates, and I ship him with Kat(who I've always rather liked...not passionately, as she's still a Mary Sue, but at least she's a cool and interesting one.)  Sadly, as Kenyon is not J.R. Ward, I doubt it'll happen.  The book also is actually a prequel to the series, taking place in 1996, and sets up various things for the series.

Pretty much, though, it's clearly Kenyon having to write a book because the publisher wants more Dark Hunters books.  I think I read at her website that there are supposed to be 40 or so by the end.

While the rest of the world is busy standing in line and fighting hordes(or stalking the mailman) so they can read the exploits of some wizard named Harry(and not the one I love, at that) I've been sitting back, reading my romance novels and manga(well...there was the point where I got sidetracked by a 19 page photogallery of Eddie Peng, but that's another topic altogether.)  Namely, Sword of Darkness and  Knight of Darkness, the first two(and only published, as far as I know) books in Kinley MacGregor's, aka Sherrilyn Kenyon, Lords of Avalon series.

Short version: Think Dark Hunters with time travelling Arthurian knights in the background an a slightly less developed mytharc.  You'll like, hate, get a kick out of, etc the books (whichever suits your opinion best) for the same reason.

First post explaining what I'm talking about here.

I'm currently about halfway through the 5th book, which is Vane's story.  After this I have to stop, because the other 2 books I have are later in the series and I want to read them in order.

First of all, even though I was already warned, Tabitha is clearly being groomed to be a heroine soon, and I have to ask...WHY?  What did poor Valerius ever do to be stuck with such a shrill psychotic Buffy-wannabee nutjob?  It also means that it's probably more likely to have his problems with Kyrian sorted out than his problems with Zarek, and I'd much rather read Valerius and Zarek fighting than Valerius and Kyrian.  *sigh*

The mytharc in this series is probably the best I've encountered in a fantasy or scifi romance series, the only problem(as I mentioned in my other post) is that, with one exception, the romances themselves are pretty weak.  The exception is Zarek's book...like dangermousie, it's the only one I really like on its own merits, as opposed to put up with the romance for the rest of it and the supporting characters.  It's the only book where Kenyon has really managed to achieve what she tries to achieve with all these books...that these guys are rough, hard warriors who are hopelessly screwed up and tortured and that the women they fall in love with are the only things that give them a prayer of functionality.  It's also the only one that really conveys that he WILL die for her, but he'd rather live and just destroy anything and everything that tries to hurt her.  But if the choice is his life or hers, he'll choose hers.  Also, unlike the others, love doesn't make Zarek all soft and cuddly  despite over a millenium(2 millenia, in his case) of war and death and pain and angst.  He's slightly nicer to maybe 3 people, but hey, now that he's a god, he just wants to spend time with Astrid, preferably at the beach.  If he has to mope around Olympus while she's working, then he'll just keep himself busy throwing lightning bolts at Valerius.  If he has to he'll go play nice with the others, but it's only because Astrid asks...he really couldn't care less about social visits.  Plus, he'll probably get to kill something, which is always a bonus for him.    Also, while Astrid has her Mary Sue qualities, she's not as blatantly Mary Sue as the others, and she's the only one I've actually really liked, though I'm not sure how much I like her for herself, and how much because Zarek needs her.  With the exception of Sunshine, who I seriously disliked(well, Tabitha too, but I haven't read her book yet so it's possible she'll get tolerable), the Mary Sue's have been inoffensive, so why I haven't liked them, I haven't really minged them either(plus, most heroines in modern and fantasy and scifi romances are Mary Sues, so it's nothing new to me...historical romances aren't as bad in that regard as long as you don't get a modern girl in regency dress)

Incidentally, I love how, even though the Dark Hunters ALWAYS gets freed from Artemis's service(I want one to stay a Dark Hunter, just to break the trend) they get to keep their powers so they can show up to snark and kill things in other books.

I remain a touch concerned about my character preferences in this series, though.  To review and add the new ones, the characters I actually like are:

Ash-The machiavellian uber-Dark Hunter who's the boy toy of an S&M-prone control freak goddess who has control freak tendencies himself despite being a bit of a mother hen and is keeping way too many secrets and could probably destroy the world by coughing if her wanted to.
Zarek-the psychopath who thinks killing if fun and blood is a refreshing beverage and who, now that he's a god, likes to throw thunderbolts at his brother.
Nick-the human sidekick who's meant to be clever and spunky and is, but is also annoying and blatantly destined to be a Dark Hunter.  He's also one of the few people Zarek seems to actually like.
Valerius-The Roman general who pisses everyone off just by existing and has an ego and a superiority complex that could fill an entire time zone.
Spawn-the Apollite Dark Hunter who hates everyone's guts on principle(which would be why I like him) yet seems to always be helping out.
Simi-the demon child who looks at everything and everyone in light of whether or not it'd taste good extra crispy and dipped in barbecue sauce(but, like Astrid, a fair bit of my liking is likely due to the fact that Ash needs her)

I was kinda liking Wulf and his obsession with getting Chris laid, until I learned that it was just a part of his angstangstaaaaannnnggggsssstttttt because only people related to him remember him 5 minutes after separating from him.  At which point, I mostly felt sorry for Chris and his ancestors, as 90% of their value in life was to be sperm and ovary donors so Wulf would have company. Jess, Sasha, Colt and Urian have potential but there's no zing or attachment yet, so we'll see.

In other words, with the exception of Nick, in this series, if you have anything resembling a prayer of actually being able to interact or function normally in society, I either don't care about you or found you boring once you fell in love and got emasculated.  Normally, even I'm not this far off the deep end in character preferences.  And I generally go for the nuts/antiheroes anyway...

I just finished Night Embrace, the second(3rd if you count Fantasy Lover, a book set in the same world, but not about the Dark Hunters) book in the urban fantasy romance series, The Dark Hunters, by Sherilyn Kenyon.  The series draws on both vampire lore and greek mythology.

In it, Apollo once created the Apollites, a race superior to man in all ways save that they only lived for 27 years.  Certain people got antsy about the Apollites replacing man, so they set up Apollo to fall in love with a mortal woman and view humans as being betterthan the Apollites, which made the Apollites antsy in return so they murdered the woman in their kids. Apollo's response was to try to wipe them all out, but since this would have kinda destroyed the world, Artemis talked him out of it, and instead he just cursed them to live in eternal darkness(couldn't  help myself there)

The Apollites found a loophole, though: by draining the life force of a human(suck out the soul by draining blood), they could gain power and extend their lives and hello vampire myth.  In response, Artemis started offering warriors who'd died in great pain and/or because of  betrayal a chance to be her immortal warriors.  They get immortality, strength, endurance, healing factors and psychic  powers.  Oh, and they lose their souls so that if they lose a fight, the Daimons(bad Apollites) can't suck them up and get their powers.  Oh, and just for kicks, sunlight kills them as quickly as it does the Daimons(because, you know, making it so her immortal warriors can just toss them in the sunlight or kill them in their sleep would solve the problem a few millenia too early)

As a fantasy/mytharc, the series is actually pretty good(once you get past the idea of Artemis, the revered virgin goddess of the hunt being an S&M control freak), but as romances...urm...they send the books into "so bad it's good" territory.  On their own and together(read: no women) the Dark Hunters are tough, cool, snarky SOBs who like leather, motorcycles and sharp pointy things who can and will destroy anything and everything in their paths, but the second they meet their love interests, they become emasculated, based on the first two books.  The heroines are complete Mary Sues and the heroes...well...the author and heroines both spend so much time obsessing on what an angsty long-suffering woobie he is that I really don't care.  Amanda in Night Pleasures was a standard, inoffensive Mary Sue: as interesting as dirt, but she served her purpose.  However, I actively dislike Sunshine, the heroine  of Night Embrace.  Ignoring how blatantly she's your standard "refreshing modern open progressive" heroine, I couldn't connect at all to her treatment of sex as a recreational sport, and her attitude about marriage and relationships pissed me off everytime it came up.  I mean, geez, sorry you had one bad experience, but to decide that the institution of marriage is horrible and all men in a relationship are controlling scum is overkill(and, of course, since she's the heroine, the author has to back her up)  As a result, I spent most parts dealing with the romance going "blah blah...reincarnation...blah blah...soul mates...blah blah...supposed cleverness...blah blah...angst...blah blah..." and waiting for it to get back to the mytharc parts.

Now, the guys are cliches, too, but unlike the girls, they're fun.  They snark, they're centuries old warriors, they have superpowers, they like to kill things using sharp pointy weapons.  I reserve the right to be shallow when it comes to snarky warriors killing things with sharp pointy weapons.

Of course, due to their emasculation through romance, I don't really care a lot about Talon or Kyrian anymore, though they become fun again once they're back in the testosterone laden zone.  As a result, the characters I actively like are:

Acheron:  The control freak Dark Hunter from before they really were Dark Hunters who has a mother hen complex and is a goddess's boy-toy.
Zarek:  The complete psycho who hates everyone's guts, and it's mutual(though he does seem to somewhat like Nick...)
Nick:  The human squire(who, meeting the 6'+ height requirement and having decent angst in his past is clearly meant to become a Dark Hunter at some point) who's meant to be clever and spunky and is, but is actually on the annoying side at times, which is WHY I like him.
and last but not least, Valerius:  The Roman general who pisses off the entire cast just by existing, even before you take into account the fact that his ego and superiority complex could fill entire time zones.

Incidentally, I gain great amusement from the fact that all the men are well over 6', despite the fact that many come from time periods where 5'6" was the average height for a man(but then, romance authors like to gloss over that)

So, yeah, there's likely something wrong with me given my preferences in this series, and if dangermousiehadn't posted on them, I likely would have left them in my backlog for another year or so, but I like it.  And once you take into account the fact that I started skimming the straight romantic parts about halfway through both books, they're relatively quick reads