Of Swords and Parasols

This is W Juliet’s evil, blackmailing, manipulative, highly inappropriate twin.

Hikaru is a former child model who has grown into an extreme introvert, and wants nothing to do with the world of celebrities. Enrolling in the all-girls school her mother attended, she hopes to live in quiet obscurity. Unfortunately, her roommate is Izumi Kido, a popular idol, and the most sought-after girl in school. Except, as Hikaru accidentally learns, Izumi is actually a boy masquerading as a girl in order to have a more successful career. As one does. To make sure Hikaru keeps his secret, Izumi takes a picture of Hikaru’s naked chest while she’s unconscious*, so he can use it to blackmail her, kicking off a series of events that leads to Hikaru not only being his partner-in-crime, but her also slowly reentering modeling.

There’s also Riff Yasukuni, Izumi’s devoted boyfriend manager/guardian, who was adopted by Izumi’s father nine years ago. Between Yasukuni tenderly touching a lock of Izumi’s hair and gazing fondly at Izumi while Izumi sleeps in his lap, and Izumi declaring that Yasukuni is the only person that matters to him, Hikaru and I both wonder if we accidentally stumbled into a shounen-ai. I suspect, though, that the relationship is supposed to be super-devoted-but-platonic. Like Cain and Riff.

After a couple more threats of molestation in the first volume, the mangaka apparently realizes that sexual harassment isn’t sexy or romantic, and the “totally going to fall in love later” turns into typical shoujo/kdrama “I run around worrying about you but act like I am only annoyed by you” hero stuff. Sadly, in the second volume, the threats of molestation are replaced by an irritating triangle in which Hikaru develops a crush on a teacher. Who reciprocates.

My response should be “I wash my hands of you eternally, and shall now reread my dear W Juliet.” And yet, I want to read more. Like Ultimate Venus (which is by the same mangaka) it’s kind of everything that annoys me about certain shoujo, but I want to read more. I wonder if this is similar to what it must be like to be a Miki Aihara or Mayu Shinju fan. Then again, Takako Shigematsu doesn’t want to make me scrub my brain with bleach.

Part of it is that Hikaru (despite the annoying “bullies made me give up modeling” origin) is an introvert because she just wants to be left alone with her beloved dog and her Fortress Shed of Solitude because that’s what she likes, as opposed to most introverted shoujo heroines, who are introverted because they’re shy and insecure and pushed around, and need the guy to bring them out of their shell. (I make an exception for Mars, and that’s it.) She also tends to rescue Izumi from fans a lot, and has even fought a duel in his honor, and hasn’t (so far) wasted a second mooning over him or wondering about his feelings (I’ve never understood why heroines worry so much about the feelings of guys who are jerks to them) but because she knows there will be a scandal and her child supermodel past will be brought up and the press will have a field day if they learn Izumi is a boy, which will make cheerful introversion much more difficult. While the eventual intent is clear, what little romance there is so far is onesided, and on Izumi’s part.

But really, I should be swearing not to read another volume, rather than wanting to read more. Please send help.

*So, somehow, it never crosses his mind that “oh, hey, this MIGHT make the girl who shares a room with you worry that you’re some sort of sexual pervert or predator and totally not want to be asleep alone in a room with you.” On the flipside, once Riff Yasukuni explains that to him using very small words, he lets her tie him up at night.