Of Swords and Parasols

Specifically, Another Cinderella Story, Camp Rock, and Princess Protection Program.  (AKA, vehicles for Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato.)

1.  Everything is a Cinderella story.
2.  Demi Lovato is so wholesome that not only do cavities flee in terror at her coming, but her very presence turns losers into wholesome young lads seeking a nice, wholesome girl.  Or a princess, depending on the movie.
3.  Selena Gomez is going to grow up to be gorgeous, but it'd be really nice if they'd wait for her to finish growing up to start with the sexualization.  Observe.  Also, she is very, very teeny.
4.  All women are mean bullies unless they are the heroine, her token best friend, or her biological mother.  The rest are probably blonde or Asian.  There might be redemption at the end for the Feel Good effect.
5.  Unless he's a teen rock star, the cute, popular guy the heroine likes is Wrong For Her.
6.  I am deeply concerned by the idea that I may have found the Jonas brothers hot at sixteen.  (At 28, they range from "probably ok in a few years" to "he may grow out of it.")
7.  All The World's Ills (Teen Version) can be solved by a duet.
8.  Teenagers can totally be secret agents.
ETA:  9.  Like wuxia, holding hands means making out, and hugging means sex.  But less literally than in wuxia.  I think.

As far as the individual movies:  Surprisingly, Another Cinderella Story may actually be the best of the lot, despite highlighting every flaw the storytype has.  I doubt I'd rewatch it, but it just barely strikes the right note to make me realize I would have been in love at 15.  Princess Protection Program is the one I wanted to watch out of interest, as opposed to morbid curiosity, but despite technically being something I'd like, it made me wonder if best friends playing best friends suffer the same awkwardness real life  couples tend to have when playing on screen couples.  Camp Rock I kept wanting to turn off due to being soundly annoyed by it, but I couldn't. I actually had to fast forward through some of the character humiliation bits.  The last 15~ minutes, though, made up for a lot of the bad parts.