Bourne Identity
Jan. 30th, 2008 04:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
meganbmooreI am spending the day watching the Bourne Trilogy. Why? Because ever since Christmas, the family has been playing the "hey, between us, we have all three movies, so lets trade them back and forth" game, and today they are finally all here, I'm free al day, and I'm not caught up in something else.
Anyway: Amnesiac assassin found in ocean by fishermen, sets off to find himself, meets cute girl(don't they always?) has adventures, finds out who he is(kinda), blah blah blah.
Uhm, guys, aside from the "good thriller movie" part, everyone, male or female, watches these movies for the same reasons:
1. Matt Damon angsts very, very well in these movies.
2. Matt Damon beats people up very, very well in these movies.
3. Matt Damon kills people very, very well in these movies.
4. Matt Damon blows things up very, very well in these movies.
5. Matt Damon destroys cars very, very well in these movies.
6. Matt Damon does all these things very, very convincingly in these movies.
7. Did I mention that Matt Damon angsts very, very well in these movies?
Reasons for watching for these reasons will very based on gender and sexual preference, but...
I shall now go do dishes and ponder why Amazon apparently doesn't like my debit card, and then watch Bourne Supremacy.
Anyway: Amnesiac assassin found in ocean by fishermen, sets off to find himself, meets cute girl(don't they always?) has adventures, finds out who he is(kinda), blah blah blah.
Uhm, guys, aside from the "good thriller movie" part, everyone, male or female, watches these movies for the same reasons:
1. Matt Damon angsts very, very well in these movies.
2. Matt Damon beats people up very, very well in these movies.
3. Matt Damon kills people very, very well in these movies.
4. Matt Damon blows things up very, very well in these movies.
5. Matt Damon destroys cars very, very well in these movies.
6. Matt Damon does all these things very, very convincingly in these movies.
7. Did I mention that Matt Damon angsts very, very well in these movies?
Reasons for watching for these reasons will very based on gender and sexual preference, but...
In this movie, Jason Bourne:
1. Has "amnesia and a concerningly good ability to beat people up and kill things" as his sole source of angst. Well, and people hunting for him. As fiction has taught us, this is really minimal angst. It always means you have a Special Past, Special Abilities, and get a hot love interest of whatever sex you prefer. Bourne is no exception.
2. Gets a girlfriend.
3. Has sex with said girlfriend.
4. Only causes a couple small explosions.
5. Does not destroy almost every car he sees.
6. Smiles.
7. Says more than 5 words at a time.
Conclusion: a girlfriend and sex are VERY GOOD THINGS for him to have, considering the other two movies. Oh, and angst limited to amnesia. Because that isn't "real" angst. I have a theory that, in the other two movies, he was too busy looking stoic and angsty and watching puppies die to make sure he could never smile again to worry about his driving and property damage. Besides, he's the action movie hero, and they don't die in car crashes or explosions, so he was safe.
I had also forgotten(kinda) that Clive Owen was in this movie. Of course, this was before he was a star, so it was just a bit part wherein he prepared to open fire on a house with little kids in it and then got shot in the back by Bourne. Though he did get to angst at Bourne about their mutually angsty assassin pasts. Except Bourne still had amnesia, so he was busy having his own angst added to.
Meanwhile, Julia Stiles serves no point in the movie but to be a blonde to be a counterpart to Franka Potente's(sp?) brunette. For I think a combined five minutes. It's kinda a pity that these movies and 10 Things I Hate About You are all I've seen her in, because I really like 10 Things I Hate About you, but she's largely pointless in Bourne until the last movie.
1. Has "amnesia and a concerningly good ability to beat people up and kill things" as his sole source of angst. Well, and people hunting for him. As fiction has taught us, this is really minimal angst. It always means you have a Special Past, Special Abilities, and get a hot love interest of whatever sex you prefer. Bourne is no exception.
2. Gets a girlfriend.
3. Has sex with said girlfriend.
4. Only causes a couple small explosions.
5. Does not destroy almost every car he sees.
6. Smiles.
7. Says more than 5 words at a time.
Conclusion: a girlfriend and sex are VERY GOOD THINGS for him to have, considering the other two movies. Oh, and angst limited to amnesia. Because that isn't "real" angst. I have a theory that, in the other two movies, he was too busy looking stoic and angsty and watching puppies die to make sure he could never smile again to worry about his driving and property damage. Besides, he's the action movie hero, and they don't die in car crashes or explosions, so he was safe.
I had also forgotten(kinda) that Clive Owen was in this movie. Of course, this was before he was a star, so it was just a bit part wherein he prepared to open fire on a house with little kids in it and then got shot in the back by Bourne. Though he did get to angst at Bourne about their mutually angsty assassin pasts. Except Bourne still had amnesia, so he was busy having his own angst added to.
Meanwhile, Julia Stiles serves no point in the movie but to be a blonde to be a counterpart to Franka Potente's(sp?) brunette. For I think a combined five minutes. It's kinda a pity that these movies and 10 Things I Hate About You are all I've seen her in, because I really like 10 Things I Hate About you, but she's largely pointless in Bourne until the last movie.
I shall now go do dishes and ponder why Amazon apparently doesn't like my debit card, and then watch Bourne Supremacy.