Of Swords and Parasols

Does anyone remember a while back when i mentioned what can only be called an illness that compels me to pick up Bertrice Small books when I'm at a booksale so I can skim them and see what horrors they contain?  This booksale had about half a dozen, so by now, my brain is attempting to ooze out my ears in self-defence.

One of them, Deceived, is probably the least problematic, infuriating, scarring and offensive one I've encountered.  Admittedly, that pretty much just means that I don't want to murder the heroine-making her tolerable*, not likable, I can't really imagine liking Small's leads on any level, ever-and that she isn't passed around between every type of "romantic" figure ever for the time period, sold into slavery, forced into bigamy or an accidental bigamist, or openly hateful towards other women.

What is the plot of Bertrice Small's most tolerable book?  The heroine is engaged to an Earl.  Or a Duke.  Or something.  She's a fiesty tomboy and doesn't want to, but her twin sister wants to be a Countess.  Or a Duchess.  Or whatever.  So they lie about who he's engaged to.  He warries the twin then spies on the heroine bathing in what she thinks is privacy and thinks about what a conniving wanton she is to deliberately tempt him so.  Later, he asks his wife why she doesn't like sex with him, and she tells him about how she was regularly molested as a child, and can't bear to be touched by any men, even to give him an heir.  His response a bit of "oh, bummer" before he gags her, rapes her, and tells her he'll do the same every night until she's pregnant.  (Note:  We're supposed to sympthize with him because she won't get pregnant, and hate her for hating sex and not wanting sex with him specifically.)  Immediately after his wife dies in childbirth, he tells the heroine that he knew she was the one he was supposed to marry all along, and that she has to marry him now.  She sensibly goes "Oh bleep no!" and runs, but he chases her down, throws her on a bed, rips off her clothes and locks the door.  And then she remembers that she's loved him all along, so that the actual sex is consentual.  Or something.

Remember where I said that this is the most tolerable of her books that I've come across?  Keep in mind, there's another book that has a Harem Horse Orgy**.

One the subject of actually good romance novels, though, I've realized that the reason I only seem to want to read them (or mostly so, at least) the last few weeks is that I've been travelling so much lately***.  I like going places, but I hate actually travelling, and the schedule disruption makes me cranky, which makes me fall back on my highschool standby.

*The only other tolerable one was thirteen.  And married to a guy in his thirties.  And I think fourteen by the end.  And aside from maids, the only other woman was the evil villainess who wanted to destroy the heroine.  Her plotline revolved around enjoying gang rape, being turned over to a castle full of men by her lover, and then getting revenge on her lovers filng for her rape by having the fling raped by every man in the castle.  Yes.  I know. 


**I accidentally grabbed it and re-experienced the horror.  DO NOT ASK!  THE TRAUMA!!

***And going to Dallas/Fort Worth again next weekend with my family to go to a baseball game on Friday and take the kids to the Fort Worth Zoo on Saturday.  And then a couple weeks after that, my parents are leaving town for two and a half weeks, so i'll be staying at their place with the cats.